I physically removed our only television from the lounge to behind some furniture because our eldest (who was 6) was behaving more and more like a drug addict: alternating wheedling, begging, pleading, shouting, to get television.
Once I did that, and he saw it really wasn't an option, he changed quite quickly - after around 3 months - and we have it back now, although there's no screen time except weekends (or if someone's ill). Seems to be working so far.
Zero YouTube, though. Don't trust it. Might revisit at some point, but even then I'd want the paid version to remove ads.
I admit that the never ending algorithm of YouTube is problematic, but your point about kids fixating on things highlights it is nothing new. When I was a kid it was TV and video games. We had rules about when both could be used, and they were often taken away as punishments.
As we got older, my siblings and I had full on fights over who got the use the phone and when.
My point is YT is just another thing parents need to manage.
But do you watch YouTube or use screens around him? That's my problem with the advice to limit screen time. Why should I be telling my child not to do something that everyone around him is doing?
> Why should I be telling my child not to do something that everyone around him is doing
Me doing something isn't the same as "everyone around him".
If you refactor that to reflect reality, you get "Why should I be telling my child not to do something that I am doing?"
Then my answer is: they're a child. Not an adult. I don't let my son drive, even though I can. I work; he goes to school. I drink alcohol; he doesn't. I'm on social media; he's not. I'm married; he's not. I watch horror movies; he doesn't. Brains fully develop by 25. My son is now 7. He isn't just a smaller version of me. He's a child version of me.
Well I know that I have been a non drinker until the age of 27 and I still often don't feel the need to drink alcohol even in a social event especially if I have to drive (better to say I don't drink tonight than starting and count your consumption). I could and still definitely observe it on long family dinners. But it depends a lot on the people tolerance and the kind of drinks. There are worlds of difference between a 4% of alcohol beer and a 6.5% one if you have a pint.
My mother has always been laughing stupidly with a single glass of wine, my father could drink 3 before you notice. Same when I am not drinking and my partner have a beer. She won't speak louder or do act differently after 1 or 2 light beers. But in her case the line is really thin between the virtually unnoticeable state, the moment you realize she should stop drinking and the moment she is completely wasted or start feeling bad, especially if the drinks are stronger. On other people it is more gradual.
Does this no answer your question about my child see me drinking beer? Or drinking coffee, if it's easier to not get distracted by the specific drink he's not allowed?
My point was a bit unrelated to all this, so I'm just checking your original question's answered.
It looks like you have unresolved issues (trauma?) from being around alcoholics or people with lack of self control. But I don't. One beer with a meal is not "disgusting" and does not significantly impair an adult either.
It just disgusts me personally. There's probably a lot of factors involved. But there's no such thing as a safe dose of alcohol. Especially ingested routinely.
As an adult, I can always feel the pull of real life. If I keep watching YouTube or playing video games I know it's going to impact my job, wife, kid, etc. Some adults aren't even that good at regulating this, but I think kids are, on average, way worse about it. Many don't know real consequences or regrets for failing to manage their time.
Although I'll admit I do agree with your comment in the sense that I think I should stop using YouTube entirely. People are discussing how it can really mess with a kid's brain, and I don't feel like I'm immune as an adult. Yes, I have more discipline than a child, but this feels like it can be a cheap acknowledgement made as a rationalization, like a chainsmoker saying his lungs are stronger than a kid's, or an alcoholic saying the same of their liver.
Many adults don’t know how to stop either. The UI/UX is tailored exactly for that purpose, to make you consume as much as possible. This is my problem with youtube kids, the content may be okay but priming for later is still going on.
Screen time for weekends only is a good option. We do the same and so far no issues. There was a bit of nagginging at first but if firm kids eventually accept it. Parents who give in to nagging are making a disservice to their own kids
Once I did that, and he saw it really wasn't an option, he changed quite quickly - after around 3 months - and we have it back now, although there's no screen time except weekends (or if someone's ill). Seems to be working so far.
Zero YouTube, though. Don't trust it. Might revisit at some point, but even then I'd want the paid version to remove ads.